The Perils of Tony
by Tweeter
Summary: COMPLETE! Tony gets in trouble. Final chapter posted. R&R, please and thank you!
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: _I don't own these characters, I'm not making money off them (do I look like a pimp?), this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase **ZivaFan**, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.

Why break tradition?

Huge thanks go to **Rinne** for her stellar beta work and encouragement.

* * *

**Prologue**

When I first met DiNozzo, I knew he'd be a good agent. He had the experience, the instincts, the street smarts, everything I needed in a team member. He also had a way of disarming a suspect with his charm. I don't mean literally disarm them, he could do that too, but getting them to drop their guard, make a mistake and let some incriminating information slip out.

Yeah, I knew my gut was right about hiring the kid. He's not bad to have around the squad room either. I may give him a hard time about his joking around and acting like a horny teenager, but he gets the job done. Hell, he does it with seemingly no effort at all. That infuriated Kate and baffles McGee and Ziva. I'm not surprised though, Tony's got incredible powers of observation, an almost photographic memory and the uncanny ability to see even the most obscure connections.

Sounds like he's the perfect agent, right? He's not, not at all. He's one of the best I've ever worked with, but he can be undisciplined; he's no superhero, and that's the problem. He get into more trouble than anyone. It's as if he's got a sign on his back that says, "Hit me! Kidnap me! Shoot at me!" I've started calling him Pauline. Ziva and McGee don't get it, but being a movie buff, Tony does, and he's a little embarrassed. It's not as if he intentionally looks for trouble, it just seems to find him.

The reason why I'm giving this explanation, almost as long as one of Ducky's stories, is because I find myself in a very familiar situation. Sitting in a hospital room, watching for any sign of life from the body lying in the bed: my senior field agent, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

It's déjà vu all over again.

* * *

A/N: I know this is short. It _is_ a teaser, after all.


	2. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: _I don't own these characters, I'm not making money off them (do I look like a pimp?), this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase **ZivaFan**, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.

Why break tradition?

Huge thanks go to **Rinne** for her stellar beta work and encouragement.

* * *

**The Perils of Tony **

**Chapter One**

It was a typical day in the NCIS squad room. There hadn't been a major case in a while, and the team was restless. DiNozzo was like a hyperactive child, all pent-up nervous energy, annoying the hell out of everyone. Finally, Gibbs couldn't take it any longer.

"DiNozzo!" he yelled, looking down from the second level.

Tony fumbled the wad of paper he was aiming at McGee's ear. "Yes, Boss?"

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

Tony stood and turned to look up at Gibbs. "Not really, Boss."

"Well you better find something," growled Gibbs, "before I have to come down there and . . . "

Tony scrambled to grab his gun and jacket. "I think I'll go down to the firing range, get some target practice in."

McGee and Ziva both started grabbing their weapons. "Good idea…"

"I think I'll join you…"

The three of them hightailed it out of the squad room.

In the car 

"Not really, Boss?" McGee's voice was incredulous. "I can't believe you said that!"

"He caught me by surprise," said Tony, defensively, pulling into the parking lot of a convenience store and getting out of the car.

Looking around curiously, Ziva followed Tony into the store while McGee waited in the car. "What are we doing here?"

Tony headed for the chips section. "I need fortification; salt, grease, maybe a little nacho cheese." He pulled several bags of chips and popcorn from the shelf and shoved them into Ziva's arms. "Here, take these, I'll grab some soda."

Arms fully laden with junk food and soft drinks, Tony and Ziva headed to the cashier, only to come face-to-face with a very frightened young man aiming a gun at them.

"Stay where you are!"

The two agents froze, not wanting to aggravate the already panicked robber and get an innocent bystander, or themselves, killed.

"Whoa there," Tony kept his voice pitched low and soothing, "you don't want to do something you'll regret."

"Don't do anything to scare this kid," he said to Ziva, under his breath, who nodded.

"I'm already doing something I regret," stammered the robber, "but it's too late to stop now."

Smiling, Tony shook his head. "It's not too late. You haven't hurt anyone. Why don't you just put your gun down, and we can talk this over."

The boy squinted at Tony and Ziva. "You two cops?"

"Federal Agents," replied Ziva.

"And you know how serious it is to shoot a Fed, right?" Tony raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Ahh, shit." The young man was getting even more fidgety. He kept his gun trained on Tony, but his eyes jumped nervously between Tony and Ziva.

"Is this your first offense… I'm sorry, what's your name?" Tony edged forward, slowly.

"No names!"

"Okay, okay... If this is your first offense, and you stop it before something happens, the court will probably go easy on you. Give you probation, maybe." Tony kept his voice soothing. He could see the young man, considering what was being said, start to relax, the gun starting to waver a bit.

The cashier suddenly grabbed a baseball bat hidden behind him and jumped over the counter, swinging with all his strength at the robber's head.

There was a gunshot and bottles of soda crashed to the floor, glass breaking, liquid flying…

**_TBC_**


	3. Chapter Two

_Disclaimer: _I don't own these characters, I'm not making money off them (do I look like a pimp?), this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase **ZivaFan**, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.

Why break tradition?

Huge thanks go to **Rinne** for her stellar beta work and encouragement.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

The parking lot was filled with different law enforcement vehicles, lights flashing blue or red, depending on the agency. The air was filled with the cacophony of yelling, radio dispatchers, crying and heated "discussions". A black sedan screeched to a halt and a very angry gray-haired man got out, slammed the door shut and pushed his way past the local LEO's, holding up his badge like a battering ram. The look on his face made the officers think twice about trying to stop him.

Gibbs made a beeline toward a smaller group of people, recognizing the dark, curly hair of Officer David and the long black coat of Special Agent McGee. They were watching as paramedics strapped a patient to a gurney.

"McGee!"

Tim McGee jumped at the sound of his boss' angry voice and turned quickly.

"What happened?"

While Gibbs could still scare the hell out of him, McGee had stopped stammering every time the team leader demanded anything from him.

"Tony wanted to stop to get something to eat, Boss," reported McGee, "and he and Ziva walked in on the middle of a robbery. The cashier went after the robber with a baseball bat, the robber's gun went off…"

Gibbs felt a twinge in his stomach. "Where's Tony?"

McGee pointed silently toward an ambulance.

Gibbs turned to see Tony sitting in the back of the vehicle. One expensive Italian shoe was sitting next to him while a paramedic was bandaging his left foot.

"What the hell happened to you?" demanded Gibbs.

"When the gun went off, I dropped what I was carrying so I could try to jump the robber. The bottles broke and a shard of glass went right through my Forzieri shoe and into my foot. My $450 shoe."

"If your shoes were $450 a pair, then wouldn't that be your $225 shoe?" asked Ziva.

Tony glared at her. "You can't buy just one shoe, _Zeeeva_."

"What if the person is an amputee? Do they make them…"

"Enough!" yelled Gibbs. He glared at Tony. "You couldn't buy the plastic two-liter bottles like everyone else?"

"Everything tastes better in glass," protested Tony, "and I like those fancy sodas, they only come in smaller bottles, 4 to a pack."

"I like the blueberry ones," McGee piped up.

"You should try the pomegranate," Ziva recommended.

McGee looked at her. "Oh yeah? I've never been sure about that flavor. Pomegranates are hard to eat, so I don't really know what they taste like."

"They're delicious, McGee, really…" Ziva's voice trailed off at the sight of Gibbs' stormy face.

Gibbs abruptly turned on his heel and headed to his car.

"Boss!" yelled Tony, picking up his shoe and hopping after him. "Can I get a ride with you?"

"Get a move on, DiNozzo!"

_Two Days Later_

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked, causing the younger agent to drop the paperclip chain he had been making and sit up expectantly.

"Yes, Boss?"

Gibbs sighed, the younger agent had a hopeful look on his face, eager to spring into action. Tony's foot was well on its way to healing and he could walk on it now without much trouble. The trouble was, there _was_ no action.

"Why don't you go down to the lab and see if Abby found anything on that old Walker case." Gibbs' voice wasn't as stern as he wanted it to be, he sounded more exasperated. He couldn't fault the young man for wanting to do something, he was going crazy himself. Director Sheppard had taken the opportunity of the down time to make sure that Gibbs caught up on his paperwork, so he was up to his eyeballs in SF 113 A's, due monthly but ignored up until now, and an OPM 1523 that was due last year. Worse, she kept trying to get him to go to dinner, or invite her to "see his boat".

"Sure, Boss," Tony replied cheerfully. "I'll get a Caf-Pow on the way down."

"You do that," grumbled Gibbs. 'Tony is too damn perky,' he thought to himself, turning back to the hated forms.

_Down in the lab_

Music assaulted Tony's ears before he even approached the sliding doors into Abby's lab. He sauntered into the room, limping slightly, and stopped to watch Abby's head bob in time to the booming bass, her pigtails waving wildly, almost in circular motions. Idly, he wondered if she could make tassels twirl while she… Shaking his head to rid himself of that thought, he snuck up behind Abby and plopped the large drink beside her on the table.

One doesn't sneak up on Abby, however, so he wasn't surprised when she didn't even flinch, just picked up the drink and took a long draught through the straw. Turning around, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, Tony," she yelled, making herself heard above the music.

"You're welcome!" Tony yelled back. "Gibbs wants to know if you have anything new on the Walker case."

"What?"

"GIBBS WANTS TO KNOW… ahhh, the hell with this." Tony walked over and turned off her CD player.

"Hey!" pouted Abby. "I was listening to that."

"Abby, my ears are ringing, how can you listen to that so loud?"

"What?"

"I SAID… wait, you still can't hear me?" Seeing Tony's worried look Abby reached up and took out her earplugs.

Looking slightly abashed, she said, "Oh, sorry, forgot I had these on."

Shaking his head, Tony repeated himself for the third time, "Gibbs wants to know if you have anything new on the Walker case."

"I do indeed," smiled the perky young woman. "Put on those gloves and come with me, cutie pie."

"Cutie pie?" Bemused, Tony followed Abby to her inner office.

"Yeah, cutie pie. You like to think of yourself as dashing and debonair, but you're really a big sweetie."

"You don't think I'm dashing?" Tony's tone was hurt.

"I think you're a drop-dead gorgeous man, with a little boy spirit, and that makes you a cutie pie to me." Abby gave him a quick kiss on the nose.

"Oh. Okay, I'll take that as a compliment."

"As you should."

"So Abs, what do you have?"

Picking up a box, Abby handed it to Tony. "I found this hidden in a secret compartment in a hope chest we found in Walker's apartment."

"Isn't a hope chest for women?" asked Tony.

"Well, yeah, but maybe he just used it to store blankets or something. Anyway, this was in a secret compartment."

Looking at all sides of the box, Tony asked, "What is it?" as he started to open it.

"I don't know," she replied. "I just found it, I haven't had a chance to check it out."

Turning very still, Tony looked over at the lab technician, his voice hushed. "You haven't checked it for booby traps?"

"No," she said warily. "But I didn't think you'd just start opening it."

He hissed, "I didn't think you'd hand me something that hadn't been cleared."

"Sorry, Tony…"

"Shhhh…." Tony tried to peek into the box through the half-inch opening he'd made.

"Get out of here, Abs." His voice was urgent.

"What?"

"I said, get out. NOW, Abby." The look on his face matched the serious tone of his voice. Abby turned and started to run out of the lab. She had just gotten past the outer doors when there was an explosion, throwing her against the elevator doors.

**_TBC_**


	4. Chapter Three

_Disclaimer: _I don't own these characters, I'm not making money off them (do I look like a pimp?), this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase **ZivaFan**, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.

Why break tradition?

Huge thanks go to **Rinne** for her stellar beta work and encouragement.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

The floor shook with the force of the explosion.

"What the hell?" Gibbs jumped up from his desk and raced to the stairwell, followed closely by McGee and Ziva. Barely touching the steps, the three raced downstairs toward Abby's lab, bursting onto the floor. There was smoke pouring out of the broken sliding doors and Abby was lying in a crumpled heap against the elevator.

"ABBY!" yelled Gibbs, rushing over to her. The young woman was stunned but didn't appear to be injured seriously.

"Abby, are you okay?" Gibbs looked into her eyes worriedly, checking to see if she could focus and recognize him. Ducky hurried onto the floor, Palmer trailing behind.

"Ducky, come check Abby."

Abby started coughing as the ME knelt next to her. "Tony…" she managed to choke out.

"Where's Tony," Gibbs asked anxiously.

Abby pointed into the lab mutely, her expression a mixture of fear and sadness.

Gibbs stood and stared into the blackened rooms in horror. Flames were starting to lick at the cabinets and the rooms were filled with acrid smoke. Grabbing a fire extinguisher, Gibbs ran into the lab.

"Jethro, wait, you need a mask!" Ducky's admonition was ignored and Gibbs began putting out the small fires before they could grow and consume the rest of the lab and the building. His eyes watered as he searched frantically for his agent, spotting a crumpled body under Abby's desk.

"DINOZZO!" Dropping the fire extinguisher, Gibbs ran over and knelt next to Tony, carefully checking for a pulse and any broken bones. Groaning, Tony opening his eyes and started coughing. "Boss?"

"Come on, we've got to get out of this smoke." Gibbs pulled Tony to his feet and supported the young man as they fled the lab.

Coughing and choking, the two fell against the wall in the corridor and then slid down to the floor. Ducky and Palmer rushed over as firemen burst onto the floor.

Twenty minutes later Gibbs, Abby and Tony were sitting in the back of an ambulance, oxygen masks over their mouths and noses. Gibbs pulled his mask off. "What the hell happened?" he demanded.

Tony and Abby looked at each other, Abby started to say something when Tony interrupted, "There was a box in the Walker stuff, Boss. It was booby-trapped. I tossed it into one of Abby's ballistic testing machines and dove under her desk."

Gibbs glared. "You opened a box that hadn't been X-rayed or checked for booby traps?"

Abby started to say something when Tony interrupted her again, "I'm sorry, Boss, I thought it was okay."

"You could have gotten Abby killed," yelled Gibbs, his face red with fury.

Looking chagrined, Tony lowered her head. "I know, I made her get out, but yeah, I know, Boss. I'm sorry."

"SORRY?" bellowed Gibbs.

"Gibbs…" Abby said, but he didn't even look at her.

"That was a rookie mistake, DiNozzo!" he yelled. "Hell, it's worse than that. Anyone who watches any crime shows knows you don't do something as STUPID as that!" Tony cringed.

"Gibbs…" Abby tried again.

"Not only could you have gotten Abby killed, you could have destroyed the entire building!" The veins in his neck were sticking out.

"GIBBS!" Abby yelled right in his ear.

"WHAT?" Furious, Gibbs turned to her.

"It's not his fault, Gibbs! I handed him the box. I didn't think to tell him I didn't get a chance to check it." Abby's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Tony didn't know, and when he looked and saw something was wrong he made me leave. He yelled at me to get out, and he never yells at me, Gibbs. It's _my_ fault and Tony could have been blown to pieces." She started crying. Tony pulled her over to him and held her close, patting her back and whispering soothingly into her ear.

Gibbs stared at the two of them, still trembling about what could have happened to his best agent and the young woman he adored. He could have lost both of them, a thought that made him feel sick.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs promptly started coughing. Tony reached over and held the oxygen mask up to Gibbs' face, which Gibbs accepted, embarrassed at the way he'd yelled at the young man. Tony had tried to protect Abby, even if it meant getting himself fired. He should have known that Abby wouldn't let Tony take the blame.

From outside the ambulance he heard Ziva say, "I think we have enough evidence on Walker to convict him, now. We just have to put the pieces back together." He closed his eyes and let his head drop back against the door of the ambulance.

_Two months later_

Petty Officer Wilson had been found murdered two days before, his body left to rot at the bottom of a small gully. The young man had worked in the IT department of an agency researching biological weapons. The Director feared that some classified, potentially damaging information had been tortured out of the Petty Officer, and was in the hands of terrorists, or someone who was going to sell the information to the highest bidder. For once, Gibbs agreed with her assessment.

The murdered man's wife hadn't been a suspect at first, but upon closer investigation the team had found that she had a separate secret bank account and had recently made several deposits, totaling two million dollars. She and her husband had only been married for six months, and Gibbs suspected that she had purposely stalked Wilson, arranged to meet him 'accidentally', and then proceeded to blind him with attention and convince him to marry her. Tony couldn't keep his eyes off her when they first went to the Wilson house to inform her of her husband's death. Mrs. Wilson was gorgeous; medium height, flowing dark hair, large deep-blue eyes, pouty lips and, as Tony put it, "a figure that would make Jessica Rabbit look dowdy."

Gibbs didn't know who that was, and he didn't really care. When they uncovered the information about the bank account, he told Tony to capitalize on the interest the woman showed in him, something which Tony was happy to oblige. Gibbs sent Tony out to question the widow further, sending McGee along with him, to cover his six and make sure Tony didn't get too dazzled by the woman's assets.

Being a polite, Southern woman, Mrs. Wilson offered the two agents some iced tea. Tony accepted, with a slow smile and appreciative look, but McGee didn't want any more caffeine and declined. Despite using all his charm, Tony couldn't get Mrs. Wilson to say anything incriminating. McGee was getting a little disgusted with all the flirting and dancing around different subjects.

On the drive back to the office, McGee was quiet.

"What's wrong, Probie?" asked Tony.

McGee remained silent, glowering out the window, watching the sky grow darker as dusk approached.

"Hey, come on!" Tony wheedled. "What crawled up your butt?"

"Nothing crawled up my butt, Tony, " said McGee irritated. "I just don't feel like talking."

"You're pouting," Tony accused.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes, you are."

"Am not."

Yawning, Tony said, "Something's bothering you, I can tell. Your lower lip is sticking out so far it looks like you got stung by a bee."

"My lip does not stick out."

"Seriously, " Tony yawned again, "what's bothering you?"

"You want to know what's bothering me, Tony?" McGee turned slightly to face his partner.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't, McGee."

"Why are you always the one to be the 'bait' for the female suspects?"

"What?" Tony laughed. "Are you kidding?"

"No, I'm not," huffed McGee. "I'm not bad looking, and I have my charm."

"Yes, you do," agreed Tony, shaking his head to get the cobwebs out, "but I don't think you could lie to a woman, or anyone, if your life depended on it, Probie."

"Sure I could… TONY, LOOK OUT!…"

Tony swerved to avoid hitting a huge tree branch that had fallen onto the road. The car skidded and crashed through a guardrail, flipping down an embankment. McGee's door flew open and, despite his seatbelt, he was thrown out onto the hillside as the car continued to tumble into a ravine.

Stunned, McGee could only watch in horror as his partner plummeted down the hill.

**_TBC_**


	5. Chapter Four

_Disclaimer: _I don't own these characters, I'm not making money off them (do I look like a pimp?), this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase **ZivaFan**, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.

Why break tradition?

Huge thanks go to **Rinne** for her stellar beta work and encouragement.

**

* * *

Chapter Four **

Gibbs and Ziva sped toward the crash site. Gibbs had gotten a frantic call from McGee, telling him that he and Tony had been in a car accident and Tony was trapped in the car. He didn't know how badly Tony was hurt, or if he was even alive. McGee had gotten on his cell phone and called 911, then called his boss to inform him of the situation.

"There," said Ziva, indicating the flashing lights of the emergency crews and the state troopers. Gibbs pulled up to the scene and burst from the car.

"Special Agent Gibbs," he announced to one of the troopers. "That car held two of my agents, I need to get down there."

"I wish you would," drawled the office., "Your agent should be in that ambulance, getting checked out, but he won't leave the crash site until they get his partner out of the car."

Grimly, Gibbs and Ziva made their way down the hill until they reached the overturned car. McGee was crouched outside the driver's side, peering anxiously inside. Gibbs went up and crouched beside him, afraid of what he'd see inside the car.

There was Tony, trapped in the seat by his seatbelt, hanging upside down.

"Hi, Boss." Tony's voice was shaky, but cheerful. "You didn't have to come all the way out here."

"Are you hurt, DiNozzo?"

Looking thoughtful for a second, Tony replied, "I don't think so. Nothing hurts, I can move my legs, I don't seem to be bleeding anywhere, at least I don't feel blood dripping. I'm getting a little headache from being upside down, though."

Gibbs sat down with a thump and ran his hands through his hair. "Jesus, DiNozzo, did one of your ex-girlfriends take up voodoo or something?"

"It's possible, Boss. Genevieve was a little spooky. Great kisser, but a little odd. She wasn't too happy when I broke up with her."

Ziva sat down next to Gibbs. "Why'd you break up with her, Tony?"

"She had a habit of threatening me with a knife when I didn't agree with her."

McGee nodded. "That would do it for me."

"It kind of throws a wet towel on romance," agreed Ziva.

"Wet blanket," Tony and McGee corrected automatically.

"Right."

Gibbs shook his head and stood up. "I need coffee."

They later found out that Mrs. Wilson had slipped a sleep powder into Tony's iced tea. He and McGee were very lucky that Tony had a strong constitution and the close call with the tree limb had sent a surge of adrenaline through his system that jumpstarted his senses. It did relax him enough so that he didn't stiffen up during the fall down the hill, resulting in no serious injuries, just some deep bruising and a killer headache. She was arrested for the murder of her husband, attempted murder of two Federal Agents and selling government secrets to hostile forces. Her good looks would be gone long before she ever saw the outside of a prison.

_Three weeks later_

"DiNozzo!"

"Yes, Boss?"

"Go to the Berkenstein warehouse and see if the general manager knows anything about that shipment from Armenia that's due to arrive in two days."

"Couldn't I just call him, Boss?"

"No, DiNozzo," replied Gibbs with false patience, "you need to see his reactions. I think he's dirty."

"Oh, right. Going now."

"McGee, go with him."

"Do I have to, Boss?"

Gibbs stared at McGee. "What?"

"Tony's like a walking bad luck charm."

"Hey!" Tony stood up, his tone a mixture of hurt and indignation.

"It's true, Tony," insisted McGee. "I nearly got killed in a car accident with you; Abby nearly got blown up…"

"I almost got shot in a robbery," added Ziva.

"You're dangerous to be around," McGee agreed.

"I am _not_ dangerous to be around," Tony hissed.

Fed up with the arguing, Gibbs pulled his weapon from his drawer and stood up. "Tony, you're with me." He sighed, heading toward the elevator, a pouting DiNozzo trailing behind him, muttering, 'I'm not bad luck,' under his breath.

They managed to make it to the warehouse in one piece. Once they questioned the manager of the warehouse, Hector Tabelobo, Gibbs determined that the guy _was_ dirty. Tabelobo realized he had said all the wrong things, and took measures to protect himself. All hell broke loose as Gibbs and Tony were leaving the warehouse.

And that was the reason why Gibbs was sitting beside a hospital bed, watching over his subordinate. The rest of the team were also waiting, but had gone down to the cafeteria to eat something, promising to bring some good, strong coffee for Gibbs when they returned.

Gibbs heard a sound coming from the bed, as Tony stirred. Standing quickly, he moved to Tony's side.

"DiNozzo," he said softly, "you with me?"

"On your six, Boss," mumbled the younger man.

Chuckling wryly, Gibbs replied, "Yeah, right. Wake up, DiNozzo."

"Don't wanna," Tony complained, trying to turn over with his back facing Gibbs.

"Ow!" Tony sat up, rubbing the back of his head where Gibbs had whacked him.

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty," Gibbs growled. "You tripped and fell over a box and broke your leg. They had to put a pin in there, but the doctor said you're going to be fine."

"Were you worried about me, Boss?" Tony grinned at the older man.

"Yeah, Tony, I was." Tony's grin grew wider.

"I was worried you'd fall out of that hospital bed and break your neck."

**_The End_**

_Thanks for all the wonderful comments. For those of you disappointed that I didn't actually seriously injure Tony in this story (my, you're a bloodthirsty lot!), I apologize, but I **did** label the story as "humor." Never fear, I'm sure I'll eventually whomp the poor boy again, but I thought he deserved a break._


End file.
